


Torn

by Rubyslippers451



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-06-16
Packaged: 2018-01-24 14:57:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1609247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubyslippers451/pseuds/Rubyslippers451
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. No curse. Princess Emma has fallen in love with her childhood friend, Baelfire. Family and friends are gathering for an upcoming ball, including a certain lieutenant in her father's navy. Love triangle. Swanfire or Captain Swan? Which will her heart choose?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this several months ago on fanfiction.net, but I wanted to give it a new audience and fresh sets of eyes. Let me know what you think. As always, I appreciate tips and critiques.  
> I do not claim to own any of the characters, only the dreams that they invade.

"Emma, wait up!"

The princess turned at the sound of her name being used so familiarly. She smiled at Baelfire as he ambled toward her.

"I hear congratulations are in order," she said as he approached. He smiled sheepishly at her, his dimple deepening in a heart fluttering way.

"So, you heard?"

"Well, my father did perform the ceremony," she returned wryly. "I'm so proud that my best friend will be watching over our palace. I know I'll sleep better at night." She gave him a wink, in case he missed her subtle meaning.

Ever since they were young, Baelfire had a way of melting her heart. When she was eight, she found him sneaking into the palace gardens, collecting apples from the large tree in the center. When she stopped to ask him what he was doing, he ran. How could he have known that the princess was such a tomboy? She easily caught up with him, not withstanding the fact that he'd been weak with hunger. She had pried the fact that he was an orphan and starving from him. Her stubbornness and kind heart had caused her to jump into action. Grabbing his hand, she marched him straight to her father, the king, and demanded the boy be allowed to stay in the palace. Since she was given almost anything her heart desired by her doting father, the boy was given a small room in the servants' quarters and employed by the royal groomers in the stables. This made it easy for the princess to oversee the results, since she loved riding, though she had never been seen in the stables as much before the boy came. The two had become fast friends, and nearly inseparable for the next 12 years.

That is, until Baelfire joined the king's guard. His work in the stabled had given him time to hone his riding skills. One of the groomers had taught him fencing, so, inevitably, he asked to join the knights that accompanied the king and queen on their journeys throughout the kingdom. Queen Snow and King David were fond of their daughter's companion, so they quickly agreed.  
Emma had been devastated. Her parents were frequently traveling, visiting their allies and friends throughout the land. With Baelfire joining them for the next two years, Emma's friend would no longer be around for her to confide in. Even when the travelers returned, he spent his time training to be a knight in the king's guard. During their time spent apart, Emma realized that somewhere along the line her feelings had changed. Her friend and confidante was more than that, but what, exactly, she didn't know. She'd never had the opportunity to find out. 

But now, things were different. He'd be here. With me, Emma thought to herself. Aloud, she said, "Exactly what post did they give you?"

"Right now, I'm just a man-at-arms," he said sheepishly, his dimple deepening. "But, someday..."

"Someday, you'll be a knight," Emma finished for him. In her mind, he was already a hero. Every time she had felt sad, he had been there to cheer her up. No title could change that. "Will you still be attending the ball at the end of the week?" She implored. 

"Wouldn't miss it. They even gave me a fancy uniform, so I won't have to worry about what to wear. You, on the other hand..." He grinned devilishly at her and she rolled her eyes, recalling the seamstress that had been at the palace earlier, fitting her for yet another gown. 

"If I had my way, I'd be wearing trousers." She had never been fond of gowns and finery, but when you were the princess, certain things were expected of you. 

"I'm sure you'll look beautiful, no matter what you wear," Bae said, the sheepish grin returning. 

No, not sheepish, Emma thought, wolffish.

Was he... Could he... Did he feel for her what she felt for him? Emma swelled with hope. 

"Emma!" Another familiar voice rang out, this one belonging to her mother. 

Emma turned toward Baelfire with a roll of her eyes. "A princess's job never ends. Well, congratulations, again. I'm so proud of you." Without hesitation, she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek, lingering perhaps a little longer than necessary. "I can't wait to see you in uniform." With that, she spun and practically skipped to her waiting mother.

 

*************************************************************************************************************

Baelfire touched his cheek after she had gone, smiling to himself. For so long, he had only hoped that Emma felt for him half of what he felt for her. Now that he was moving up in society, he might have his chance to show her how he feels.

“The ball,” he said, anticipating the moment he planned in his mind with a smile.

 

*************************************************************************************************************


	2. Ch 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, but don't worry, there's more to come...

Ch 2

“Mom, I’m here. What did you need?” Emma asked, still sporting a glint in her eye from her encounter with Bae.

Queen Snow smiled lovingly, yet cautiously at her daughter. “You have another gown fitting, and you know how Madame Forsythe feels about tardiness.” She gave her daughter a pointed look, recalling the number of times Emma kept people waiting.

“You mean how she tens to take it out on me by sticking pins in my a-”

“Emma!” Her mother interrupted. “I know you’re reluctant to accept it, but you are a princess and should start behaving as such!” She sighed and calmly added, “You’re twenty two years old, Emma. One day soon, you’ll find that your responsibilities don’t just affect you, but the whole kingdom.”

“I know, Mom. You keep telling me every time I turn around. But that doesn’t mean, away from the public eye, I shouldn’t be allowed to voice my opinion on the matter.” Emma’s argument was hard for Snow to debate, so she just sighed and took her daughter’s arm.

“Before you go to your fitting, your father asked to see us. Some sailors in the armada are staying for a fortnight and will be attending the ball. He’d like to show you off, I think.”

Emma rolled her eyes, but let out a playful giggle. To the king, there was no one more intelligent, more accomplished, or more amazing that his daughter. One of his favorite pasttimes was parading Emma in front of his friends and visiting dignataries and bragging about her. Emma found it a little exhasperating, but mostly amusing. 

Snow just found it exhasperating. She knew that underneath his proud papa facade, part of him was trying to find their daughter a husband. The king had not grown up royal, like she had. The title came from her side. She wanted for her daughter what she had found: true love. She knew her husband meant well, but she was afrait it would blow up in his face, creating a rift between their daughter and themselves like the one that existed between James and his father.

Shaking the unthinkable out of her head, she held up her arm to her daughter. Like two girl-friends, they strode arm-in-arm to the king’s study.

 

*************************************************************************************************************

 

“Here they are!” King David smiled jovially at his wife and daughter. Snow embraced her husband, momentarily ignoring their guests, and kissed him.

“Charming,” she said, as she never called him anything else.

“Snow, Emma, may I present Captain Liam and his lieutenant, Killian.”

The two sailors bowed before their rulers. As the stood, Emma felt her throat catch when the handsome lieutenant’s eyes met hers.

“Pleasure,” he said. Emma couldn’t be sure, but was that a wink he just gave her?

*************************************************************************************************************


	3. Chapter 3

Ch 3

“Hold still!” Madame Forsythe bellowed for the fourth time. Emma yelped as a pin found her waist.  
Madame Forsythe sighed, and more calmly, said, “Princess, if you would stop squirming then you wouldn’t get pins in your hide.”  
Emma tried, but her mind kept floating back to her father’s study and a pair of sinfully blue eyes. Her knees buckled again, and she was rewarded with another pin in her leg and a grumble from the seamstress.  
“I’m sorry,” Emma apologized weakly. Truth be told, the pins helped bring her back to reality.  
No, Emma thought to herself. Baelfire. She repeated his name over in her head until she was sure it was all she needed.  
KILLIAN, her mind traitorously screamed back. As if to punctuate her treacherous mind, another pin found her arm.  
\---

The next day, sporting a few bruises from her torture session with Madame Forsythe, Emma found solace in the palace stables. It had been hard, but she had gotten used to Baelfire not grooming the horses or mucking out the stalls in the two years he had been gone.  
She clicked her tongue twice and a chestnut colored mare peeked out of one of the stalls. “Hey, Arrow,” she greeted the horse, holding out an apple for her. Arrow took the apple greedily from her hand, and nudged her as if to ask for more. “Well, aren’t you in a good mood!” The statement could’ve been used to describe the horse any time the princess was around. She had been Emma’s since she was a foal Baelfire helped birth. She had been present, mesmerized by the miracle she witnessed. It was known throughout the kingdom that Arrow and Emma were a package deal. Emma only traveled with her beloved horse and it was obvious to anyone watching that the two were enamored with each other.  
Emma grabbed Arrow’s tack and busied herself getting her horse ready for a ride. “Not to town, today. Just a run around the field.” The horse sighed, as if understanding her words.  
Just as she was leading Arrow out of the stable, she heard voices around the corner. She stopped short, nearly running into the owner of one of the voices.  
“Emma!” The other man boomed, the king’s voice breaking her out of her reverie. “I was just showing Lieutenant Jones the stables. He asked about riding one of the horses. Since you’re here, do you think you could show him around?”  
“Um, sure,” she gulped.  
“Wonderful!” The king clapped is hand on the lieutenant’s back. “Well, I’ll leave you two alone, then.” Emma wasn’t sure, but did her father just wink at the lieutenant? There seemed to be a lot of that going around...  
“Your, highness,” the lieutenant spoke, interrupting her thoughts. “Your father tells me you’re an accomplished rider.”  
“Yes, well, no better than most.” Why was she being so modest? Usually she would challenge anyone who inquired about her ability. With him, though, she felt tongue tied and humble. It’s those eyes, she thought. He just had a way of staring at her that made her feel like he could see into her soul. To him, she said, “Have you ever ridden before?”  
“A bit,” he replied as he grinned that devilish smile.  
Within minutes he had one of the horses saddled and hoisted himself on it with ease. Emma couldn’t help but notice his broad shoulders as he did so. They were well-muscled and held confidently, as was the rest of him. Must be from all the sailing, Emma thought.  
“Where shall we go?” Killian asked.  
“There’s a field on the other side of the palace walls. We’ll take the long way so you can see the grounds,” she offered.  
There was that grin again. “Sounds like fun. Lead the way, lass.”  
She started a bit at the familiar tone. Aside from her parents and Bae, no one had called her anything but ‘Princess’ or ‘Emma’. After a moment, she smiled and nudged Arrow forward, deciding that she liked the sound of a new nickname, especially when it came from his lips.

\----  
“David.”  
Uh, oh, the king thought to himself. Snow only called him that when she was upset with him.  
“Was that Lieutenant Jones I just saw riding with our daughter?” The queen had a dark look in her beautiful hazel eyes.  
“He asked about riding, and we ran into Emma at the stables. She offered to take him...”  
“She offered or you offered her?” Snow’s look became accusatory. King David averted his eyes from her gaze. “We’d talked about this! If and when our daughter is ready, she will be the one to decide who to marry.” The queen threw her hands up in frustration.  
The king had seen this before. His daughter had inherited his wife’s stubbornness, as well as her chin. “Snow, I’m not trying to pressure her, nor did I imply to the lieutenant of our daughter’s eligibility, but I’m not going to apologize for wanting to see our daughter happy. She has been miserable these last few years and I know that finding love will bring her happiness. If she finds that among our friends or allies, shouldn’t that be celebrated?”  
Snow sighed. “You know I want her to be happy. I’m just not sure she hasn’t already found happiness.”  
“What do you mean? You’ve seen how she’s been.”  
“And you didn’t notice when that began? Or how it’s gotten better recently?”  
The king looked puzzled. Realization slowly took over his face as he registered his wife’s words. “Baelfire,” he whispered.  
“What if she’s found true love and you’re putting obstacles in her way?”  
Snow’s words caught him off guard. Was it possible their daughter had fallen in love with the boy they took in all those years ago?  
\----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for stopping in and checking out my story! More is on the way, hope you're staying interested...


	4. Ch 4

Ch 4

Emma and Killian stopped and dismounted by a small stream that ran alongside the field of wildflowers. The two horses bent their heads and drank heartily from the cool water.  
Emma reached down and cupped some water in her hand before splashing it on her face. The water helped cool her cheeks, which were warm from the ride and sun. Just the ride and the sunshine, Emma thought, trying to convince herself.  
Killian copied her action, drawing her attention to his handsome face, again. He looked up and caught her staring. He gave her a toothy grin. “See anything you like?” She was torn between anger at his insinuation and mortification at his perceptiveness.  
She chose the former.   
“Hardly!” she scoffed and busied herself adjusting Arrow’s stirrups.  
“I’m pretty sure I picked up on your father’s jollity at our venture. I think he’s quite fond of me.”  
“Well, if you talk my mother into it, maybe he’d marry you!”  
“I never said anything about marriage, lass. You came to that end on your own. I’m simply referring to our current venture. I think your father was pleased to see you out and about.”  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Emma whirled on him, her emerald colored eyes flashing.  
“No harm, lass, just a mentio of you being a bit down lately. Thought a riding companion would do you good.” The sailor looked almost hurt that she had turned on him.  
The wind suddenly picked up, causing a blonde tendril to fall across her cheek. Before she could reach up for it, his fingers were brushing it away, caressing her face as he did so. She felt her breath catch as she gazed into his cerulean eyes.  
She jumped when she felt a nudge from behind. Arrow had, apparently, had her fill from the stream and was eager to move along. She patted the horse’s head before turning back to Killian. He had already moved to his horse and began to mount. Emma sighed and followed suit, wondering how a man could infuriate her one minute and charm her the next.  
As they trotted through the field, Emma caught him looking at her, again. “See something you like?” She tossed back at him, sarcasm filtering through her voice.  
He shook his head. “I was just wondering how you are able to stand being cooped up. Your palace has many comforts, don’t misunderstand me, but I’ve never understood staying in one place. The sea has been my home for years.”  
“Don’t you miss your family?” Emma asked, not being able to imagine being separated from her parents for months at a time.  
“My mother died when I was a lad. My father,” he paused a flush of anger taking over his cheeks. “My father...left. The captain is my brother. He’s the only family I have.”  
Emma lowered her eyes and stared at the back of Arrow’s head. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose so many you love.”  
Killian was quiet for a moment, trying to find the words to explain his situation. Finally, he said, “The crew is my family, too, I suppose. We’ve been through much together.” He let out a small chuckle. “Trust me, when you get 40 men in close quarters on a ship, you learn a lot about each other.”  
“I’d imagine even things you don’t want to know,” Emma joked back.  
Killian laughed heartily, his mood lifting considerably. “Too true, lass. I’d hate you shock your delicate sensibilities with the stories I could tell you.” The sly smile was back on his lips.  
“Try me,” Emma’s own mouth curved in a wry smile.  
“I’ll start off gentle,” Killian said with a twinkle in his eye.  
Emma rolled hers, but was secretly excited. He was right. She hadn’t been outside of the palace except to visit friends and family, never really seeing the kingdom her family reigned over. The more he talked, the more she found herself wishing she could see the world. And that, perhaps, he could be the one to show it to her.

\----  
“Your Majesty, Prince Phillip and Princess Aurora have just arrived,” Baelfire announced to the king.  
“Thank you. Please inform them that the queen and I will be in the parlor and they should join us, once they get settled.” Baelfire bowed and backed out the room.  
After closing the door, he wondered why Emma wasn’t with them. Normally, she joined them for tea after her afternoon ride. He made his way down the corridor with a pair of green eyes on his mind when he heard her laughter float down the hallway.  
He smiled, wondering what made her laugh when he saw her round the corner. Gods, but she had an affect on him. He started to call her name, but stopped when he realized what the cause of her laughter was. One of the sailors from the king’s armada was gesticulating wildly, animatedly telling her a story involving his crew, some rum, and a certain mermaid.  
It wasn’t until he was almost at her side that she noticed him. “Baelfire!” She looked startled to see him. “Hi! Um... have you met Lieutenant Jones?” She gestured to the sailor.  
“No. Lieutenant.” He nodded at her companion cordially, but curtly. “I was just delivering a message from your parents for our guests, Prince Phillip and Princess Aurora.”  
“Aurora’s here?” Emma’s face lit up even more than it already was. “I can’t wait to see her!”  
“Well, we won’t keep you from your duties,” Lieutenant Jones offered Emma his arm. She looked at it, then at Baelfire before slowly taking it. She looked over her shoulder at him as the lieutenant led her down the hallway.  
Sorry, she mouthed soundlessly before turning back to her companion.  
Baelfire just stared at their retreating backs.

\----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading and let me know what you think!


	5. Ch 5

Ch 5

Emma changed and made her way down the corridor to the salon. She had excused herself from Killian’s company after their run-in with Baelfire. He had bowed and smiled devilishly at her before turning and sauntering away. The memory gave her shivers. Her mind floated to Baelfire’s face. He had looked so forlorn at their encounter.  
Emma felt torn. She was still deep in thought when she entered the salon and was greeted by her parents and their guests. Immediately, her focus shifted to the friend she had not seen in months.  
“Aurora!” Emma exclaimed as the two embraced as long lost friends. They separated, still clutching hands, and Emma marveled at the glow radiating from her friend. Over her shoulder, Emma spotted the reason. Prince Phillip was handsome, indeed, though Emma had only ever seen him as the boy who used to put frogs in her bed. She was happy her friend had tamed his wicked ways.  
Emma was struck, again, by the fact that the two women had become such good friends. Where Emma had been rambunctious and carefree, getting Phillip back by putting garden snakes his his bed, Aurora was shy and soft-spoken, chastising both about the immaturity of their actions. Emma had pouted at her ruined fun, but Phillip always listened and hung his head, evidently remorseful. Even then, he had been smitten by Aurora’s delicate beauty.  
Aurora had always been the angel on Emma’s shoulder, whispering what to do, and (annoyingly, at times) what not to do. If anyone else tried, they were rewarded with their own snake.   
But that had been years ago, and both had grown into beautiful young women. Snow was always remarking how Aurora was lucky to have found her true love. Emma would never admit it, especially to her mother, but she was glad, too. Her friend was never happier than when she was with Phillip.  
“Your mother was just telling me of all the plans for the ball,” Aurora said excitedly. She always enjoyed the festivities and dressing up. Yet another way she was Emma’s opposite.  
“Well, not all the plans. We do want some surprises, after all,” Snow said with a gleam in her eye. Her mother always had to have a surprise. At the last ball held at the castle, Snow had hired a group of traveling performers to entertain the crowd; firebreathers, jugglers, contortionists, and aerial silk acrobats had all wowed the guests.  
Aurora led Emma to a settee, where both settled into the soft velvet. Whispered only so Emma could hear, Aurora asked, “Has Baelfire asked for a dance, yet?” Aurora had known of her friend’s feelings before Emma had admitted even them to herself.  
“Not yet. But, if you have time later, I want to talk.” Emma was anxious to get her friend’s advice on her current situation. She found that the time spent with Killian this afternoon had both excited and vexed her, and Aurora always had a way of putting things into perspective for her.  
“You girls talking about what you’re wearing?” The king asked, interrupting her thoughts.  
Emma rolled her eyes. “You know me so well,” she said wryly.  
“She’s probably wondering about which creepy crawlies to put in the punch bowl,” Phillip said with a chuckle.  
“That was one time!” Emma exclaimed indignantly, “And I was twelve.”  
Her parents had apparently forgiven her, because they joined in Phillip and Aurora’s laughter.  
They were still wiping their eyes and clutching their sides when the door opened.  
“Apologies, Majesties, but I heard the commotion and wanted to make sure you were alright.” At the lieutenant’s words, Emma immediately sobered. The change in behavior was not lost on Aurora. Or Snow.  
“No apologies necessary. Join us, Lieutenant,” the king invited, sweeping his arm wide at their party.  
Killian shook his head. “Thank you, but no. My crew is waiting for my return to sort out our inventory and supply lists. It’s good to hear such merriment and laughter from you.” He addressed the group, but his gaze held on Emma. “Goodnight.” With a bow, he retreated.  
Aurora raised her eyebrows in an unspoken question to Emma. The latter nodded an answer. Later, she mouthed.  
“Well, shall we continue this party into dinner,” the king offered, gesturing to the dining hall.  
The group rose from their respective seats and headed toward the adjoining room. Neither Emma nor King David saw the growing look of concern Snow gave her daughter.  
\----  
“Spill!” Aurora demanded of her friend, after they were alone. She was sitting on the edge of Emma’s canopied bed in her chamber. “Who was that sailor? Why was he staring at you? His eyes are amazingly blue, aren’t they? Will you be dancing with him at the ball? What about Bae?” Her questions came rapid-fire and Emma, who began walking back and forth on the ornate woven rug, shook her head.  
“That was Lieutenant Killian Jones of the Jewel of the Realm in the King’s Armada.” Emma used his full title with a touch of sarcasm. “And yes, his eyes are impossibly blue. To the rest, I don’t know.” She sighed, her shoulders sagging.  
“And Bae?” Aurora said, gently.  
“I don’t know!” Emma threw her hands up in exasperation, suddenly stopping her frantic pacing.  
Aurora just waited patiently, knowing her friend would tell when she could. “Well, at least we have the ball to look forward to,” Aurora said, deftly changing the subject.  
Taking the opportunity, Emma groaned and rolled her eyes. “Don’t remind me. You should see the monstrosity of a gown my mother planned for me.” She flopped down on her bed next to Aurora, laying on her back with her arm across her eyes.  
“I’m sure you’ll look beautiful. Your mother has excellent taste.” Aurora’s wistfulness of the upcoming celebration was not contagious. “Not to mention all the visitors,” she pointed out meaningfully.  
Emma suddenly sat up. “I’m sorry. You know I love having you here! I just wish we didn’t have to have a ball to give you an excuse to visit.”  
“Well, soon you’ll have an excuse to visit me.” Aurora stood up and paused for effect. “Phillip finally asked me to marry him!”  
Emma stared at her friend in a combination of joy and open-mouthed shock.  
She had always known of the two’s affections for each other and that they seemed destined to marry. On the other hand, Emma felt as if her friend would be lost forever. With a husband and impending family, she wouldn’t have time for her childhood friend.  
As if reading her mind, Aurora smiled lovingly. “Of course, you’ll be maid of honor and come help plan the wedding, right? And you’ll be godmother to all of our kids and visit as often as possible.”  
Emma smiled in relief. She rose and took her friends hands in hers. “Absolutely! I couldn’t be happier for you two. Even if you are marrying Snot-face.” Aurora giggled at her friend’s use of the childhood nickname Emma had bestowed on Phillip.  
The two hugged and began talking centerpieces and china patterns, two handsome men effectively forgotten for the nght.  
\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for taking the time to read… won't you take an extra 10 seconds to let me know what you think?


	6. Ch 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, you're going to see my version of a favorite character in this chapter… let me know what you think of my take.

Ch 6  
The next day, two days before the ball, Emma spent most of her time with Aurora or her mother, helping prepare the palace for the ball. Snow’s attention to detail when it came to flower arrangements made Emma’s head spin. She had never quite understood why symmetry was so important. Still, she knew it was best to do as her mother instructed than to try to fight her.  
The palace was a flurry of preparations and guest arrivals. Her parents were loved throughout the kingdom and their friends were coming from all over to celebrate. Emma almost forgot the strings pulling her heart in opposite directions.  
Almost, but not quite. Whenever she saw a guard or sailor’s uniform she found herself holding her breath a little. When they would turn and she would see it wasn’t them, she would sigh with relief and resume her activities.  
Her mother grew increasingly worried as she noticed her daughter’s fertive glances at doorways. Snow knew her daughter’s heart was torn and wished she could help. She also knew it had to be Emma’s decision. She just hoped that when she did decide, she would not be filled with regret or longing for someone else.  
\---  
That afternoon, Emma found herself back in the gardens. She sat on a marble bench surveying her surroundings. Rosebushes were in full bloom, their lush greenery showing a stark contrast to the red and white blooms that intermingled with each other. Emma inhaled the sweet scent of the honeysuckle and lilacs that bordered the garden wall. The apple tree that stood in the center was still there, bringing a smile to her lips as she remembered the scrawny boy she met there long ago.  
She was still smiling when a voice broke through the memory. “Penny for your thoughts?”  
Emma turned to see her godmother, Regina smiling over her. She jumped up and gave her a hug that practically knocked the woman off her feet. Emma’s godmother yelped att he force of the hug, but did not try to break the embrace. She had not seen her in weeks and thought of the girl as a daughter.  
Snow had known Regina since she was a child. She had gone out riding when her horse got spooked. Lady Regina, who also happened to be in the same field, saw her distress and was able to chase down the racing steed before any trouble came to the then princess. She was only eight years older than Snow had been, but from that day, she looked over the princess as a younger sister. Regina had even served as maid of honor at Snow’s wedding to David. Though not related by blood, Regina had been part of the family all of Emma’s life.  
Emma finally released her and asked after Regina’s family.  
“Robin’s showing Roland the stables. You know how he loves horses.” Emma beamed at the thought of the boy, Regina’s son, her own godson.  
“I can’t wait to see him! Maybe I can take him out for a ride later.” Roland loved riding on Emma’s horse as Emma led them around the paddock.  
“Perhaps. But first, tell me what you’ve been up to. Something’s troubling you.” Regina had always been able to tell when Emma was hurting, showing up when she needed her most. It was as if the older woman was magically watching her from her own far-off estate.  
Emma sighed and settled back on the bench. Regina lowered herself next to her, putting her arm around her shoulders. “Is it Bae?” Regina prompted.  
“Yes. And no.” Emma had no other way of answering her.  
“Go on,” Regina nudged her gently. Emma’s stubbornness sometimes required urging.  
Emma took a breath before continuing. “I thought it would be perfect once he returned. I would tell him how I feel, he’d say he loved me, and we’d live happily ever after.” She shook her head.  
“But...” Regina knew just how much to push.  
“But, then, Killian showed up.”  
“Who’s Killian?” Regina’s look was puzzled but inquisitive.  
“He’s a sailor for my father’s armada,” Emma sighed before rushing on. “He’s cheeky and infuriating and charming and exasperating and...”  
“And you’re smitten with him.” Regina finished for her with a knowing smile. She always was more perceptive than Emma gave anyone credit for.  
“But I’d always thought I loved Bae. I never thought about anyone other than him,” Emma cried out on the verge of tears.  
Clearly, Emma was struggling with this. Regina pulled her closer. Emma rested her head on Regina’s shoulder as the woman stroked her hair soothingly. “Emma, the heart wants what the heart wants.” She let the words hang in the air.  
After a moment, Emma sat up and looked at her. “That’s your advice? What’s that supposed to mean?” She glared accusingly at her.  
“It means, no one can make this decision for you. When you know, you’ll decide and that will be that.” Regina looked so infuriatingly calm at her words. Normally, her godmother would tell her Do this and all will be well. Now it’s You’re on your own.  
“Don’t be mad at me, because you know I’m right.” Damn. Regina did know her. “I didn’t say you had to decide right away. But, Emma, you will have to choose. When you do, just make sure it’s what you want. Don’t make the choice for someone else’s happiness, or you will end up miserable.”  
Emma nodded, letting the wise words sink in. They sat there for several minutes in silence, just taking in the scenery and enjoying each other’s company. It won’t be easy, Emma thought, but she knew Regina was right. She just hoped that when everything was said and done, neither man ended up hating her.  
\----  
“Annemma!” From the toddler’s mouth, the words ran together. It melted Emma’s heart every time.  
She bent down to scoop up Roland and planted a noisy kiss on his cheek before tickling him. His laughter rang out, filling the stables with Emma’s favorite sound. Her troubles forgotten as Roland squirmed in her arms.  
“I think someone’s happy to see you, Emma,” Robin said, stepping up to kiss Emma’s cheek.   
“Awwow!” Roland pointed when Emma ceased fire. Emma let out a laugh. “I’m not sure I’m the one he’s happy to see.” The stable hands had already prepared and saddled her, knowing if the boy was around, Emma would be in shortly to take him on the horse.  
Emma gently lifted Roland onto the saddle before climbing on behind him. They trotted into the enclosed paddock as Regina and Robin watched on, her head resting back on his chest, his arm circling her waist, both smiling contentedly.  
Roland knew how to sit still on the horse as Emma guided them in slow circles. Between Roland and Arrow, Emma never knew a happier place. The only thing that would make it perfect would be...  
NO! Emma stopped her thought before it started. Not here. Not with Roland. He was the only guy she needed right now.  
They went around several more times before Emma noticed they had a larger audience than they started with. Baelfire’s dimpled grin greeted her at the end of the paddock. She guided Arrow over to where he waited.  
“Hey, buddy! Enjoying a ride with Aunt Emma?”  
Roland’s answer was a resounding, “More!”  
Emma and Bae both laughed.  
“You heard him, Em. He wants more.”  
Roland’s cheers of agreement rang out as Emma turned Arrow back to the ring.  
After several more turns, Emma didn’t even notice the sunlight fading until Regina called out, “Ok, you two. Roland needs to wash up before dinner.” She knew the two of them would stay on the horse all night, if Roland asked.  
Roland pouted, throwing a mini-tantrum as Emma handed him to Robin. He only calmed down, slightly, when Emma said they would go again tomorrow.  
As Emma dismounted and led Arrow back to the stables, Baelfire trotted up to her.  
“He looked good up there. I think you’ll turn him into a fine rider.”  
“As if anyone could stop me,” she returned, liking how it was never awkward to talk to her friend about such things.   
Bae let out a small chuckle. “As if anyone could stop you from doing anything.”  
She turned her head toward him, trying to see if there was double meaning in his words.  
When they entered Arrow’s stall, Emma busied herself taking the horse’s tack off and giving her a brush down. Bae grabbed a brush and began working on the horse’s other side. They brushed in silence for a while, letting the work be te priority.  
Finally, Bae said, “This is nice.”  
“Hmm? What is?”  
“This. You. Me. Just being here.”  
Emma stopped brushing so abruptly even Arrow turned to look at her. “Bae, I -”  
“No, Emma. Let me talk,” he began, putting the brush down and taking a deep breath. “I have feelings for you.” He paused, letting the words hang in the air. He moved around Arrow as he continued, walking slowly and deliberately. “We’ve been friends for forever. A long time ago, I began hoping that you thought of me as more than a friend. I joined the king’s guard to make myself worthy of you. The princess and the stable boy just seemed a little too cliche,” he added wryly. He touched her hand, causing her to stop brushing the horse. “The other day, in the garden, I thought, maybe, you finally felt for me what I feel for you.” He started to stroke her palm with his fingers.  
“Bae, I...” She stammered, not truly knowing how to respond. Her heart started pounding at his touch and she felt her eyelids flutter shut. She could feel him close the distance between them.  
“Emma, I love you,” he said as he leaned closer. He paused, as if waiting for her to protest. When she didn’t, he closed the gap, kissing her softly, at first, then hungrily.  
She responded in kind by dropping the brush and using her now free hand to run her fingers through his hair, the other still clutching his hand in hers. She moaned softly as the kiss deepened, their pent up emotions finding an outlet, at last.  
When they finally broke apart, breathless, Bae rested his head on hers, whispering those words again, “I love you, Emma.”  
For a moment, Emma just lingered in the comfort of his touch.  
Until someone cleared their throat behind them.   
Emma jumped away and looked over Bae’s shoulder at the intruder. She was greeted with a pair of sad blue eyes.  
“Your parents asked me to inform you that dinner will be served in half an hour,” Killian said before lowering his gaze and turning back to the palace.  
Emma fought the urge to run after him. She looked at Bae, who stood between her and the door. He was staring at her with a question in his gaze.  
“I’d better go,” Emma said softly.  
“I guess so.” Baelfire reluctantly let go of her hand, their fingers sliding apart. “Tomorrow?” he added with a touch of hope.  
Emma wordlessly nodded and slowly followed Killian’s track, though there was no sign of the lieutenant when she reached the open air outside the stables.  
\----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for taking the time to read… more on the way soon.


	7. Ch 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More steaminess ahead...

Ch 7

Throughout dinner, Emma was brought out of her thoughts only by Roland’s antics. Whenever anyone else tried to bring her into the conversation, she briefly would contribute a word or two, then retreat back into her thoughts.  
Roland was refusing to eat any of the food that sat before him, until Emma gave him a grin and asked him how an ogre would eat. He then regaled them with loud chomping and greedy bites until his plate began to disappear.  
Robin shook his head. “Only you, Emma.”  
Emma smiled and winked at her godson. They had a special bond, though the younger had the princess deftly wrapped around his finger.  
Killian sat at the other end of the table in awe of the princess. He had been crestfallen when he caught her with that guard earlier. Now, he just sat mesmerized, again, at her beauty. Even children were enchanted by her power.  
As a young lieutenant in the king’s navy, Killian had seen his share of ladies fawning over him. This princess, however, had an influence over him that no other woman had before. He found himself wishing he were in the toddler’s place, holding her attention and making her smile.  
He shook his head at the thought. No, it wasn’t the lad whose place he wished to take. It was a certain man-at-arms.  
“Lieutenant,” the king’s voice brought him back to the present. “The captain was just telling us that you’ll be staying a bit longer than planned.”  
Emma looked up into his eyes at the statement.  
“Aye, Majesty. The fleet has been rather bored lately, what with the dragon crisis in the east disposed of. The crew could use some time with their families and loved ones.” He met Emma’s gaze at the last words.  
She immediately became fascinated with the roast on her plate.  
“You are all welcome to stay as long as you like in the palace. I just hope the upcoming festivities will help satisfy your wanderlust,” the king joked, knowing the sailor loved traveling the seas.  
“Aye. I’m sure everyone will enjoy the ball. I know I’ve been looking forward to it ever since the princess mentioned her, um, excitement for it.” His tone had a touch of sarcasm, since Emma had rolled her eyes and groaned whenever the ball was brought up.  
The king laughed boisterously at the words. “I’m sure once the ball is here, Emma will see her worry was for nothing.”  
Emma shifted in her seat. She was, after all, looking forward to the ball, just not to dressing up and being paraded around like a show pony.  
To shift focus away from her daughter, Snow changed the subject from the celebration to the guest list. “The guys should be arriving tomorrow!”  
“The guys?” Killian, himself, heard the touch of jealousy that crept into his voice.  
“Dwarves,” the king supplied. “Old family friends. Don’t get me wrong, they’re my friends, as well, but I had to admit it was a little off-putting being grilled by seven of Snow’s protectors.”  
“They only wanted what was best for me,” Snow said, a little indignantly. “And they quickly realized that was you, Charming,” the queen said before kissing her husband’s cheek.  
Emma smiled at her parents. To her, their young romance and courtship seemed like a fairy tale. The dwarves had been miners for Snow’s father, King Leopold. When she was a child, she liked to explore and found herself lost in the mines. The dwarves found her, and, charmed by her spirit and beauty, watched over her ever since. Needless to say, when a certain charming young man entered her life, they were skeptical of his intentions and had assaulted him with interrogations until, satisfied with his answers, they gave their blessing.  
When Emma had been born, their protectiveness grew exponentially, running off many would-be suitors in their wake. Emma had never minded; she’d never been interested in having a suitor. Until now.  
She smiled to herself at the thought of how Killian would handle their scrutiny. His innuendos and smirk would not impress Grumpy, that was for sure.  
Inevitably, her mind wandered back to Baelfire. The dwarves had known him almost as long as Emma and her parents. They had watched him grow from the sad little boy to the handsome young man he now was. Surely, they would approve of him, if he was her choice.  
Looking back at Killian, Emma wasn’t sure that Bae was her choice. The moment in the stables suddenly seemed like a lifetime ago as she found herself getting lost in his cerulean eyes, recalling the conversation about the sea she’d had with him.  
She was brought out of her thoughts by a noise to her right. Roland’s head had found its way onto his plate and he was fast asleep. Chuckling, Emma volunteered to put him to bed. Regina held Robin’s hand and agreed, knowing her goddaughter relished moments with the cherubic boy.  
Emma gathered him in her arms, ignoring the sauce on his cheek that was now smeared on her shoulder. She brushed a strand of his hair off his forehead before saying goodnight and carting him off to bed.  
\---  
Aurora watched her friend go, wishing Emma was aware of her maternal nature. Emma had always protested the thought of children of her own. However, when she was around Roland, the protestations died on her lips.  
Emma would be a wonderful mother. She snuck sidelong glances at the lieutenant, who was also watching the blonde princess’s retreating back.   
If only she could find someone to give her what she needs, Aurora thought.  
\---  
After washing his face and putting Roland to bed with a kiss on his forehead, Emma headed to her chambers. She could hear the dining party had broken up from the voices that drifted down the corridor, but she preferred to be alone with her thoughts.  
She removed her clothes and smiled at the brown spot on the shoulder of her dress. Roland sure has a way of leaving an impression, she mused. His angelic face in slumber masked the energy he possessed in his waking state.  
Emma continued dressing for bed, tying her dressing gown before grabbing a silver handled brush. As she worked on her hair, she heard a light plink on the window. She dismissed it as the wind until she heard it again, twice more.  
She rose and laid the brush on the vanity. She undid the latch, opened the window, and leaned out over the sill. Grinning up her devilishly was Killian.  
“Get all dressed up for me, did you?” He asked cheekily. Emma looked down at herself, realizing the robe was opened wide at the top. With her bending forward, she was showing more than she’d have liked. She clutched the silk together at her neck.  
“What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be in your room plotting more ways to annoy me?”  
To his credit, he looked embarrassed. Is that a blush? Emma wondered to herself.  
“I just...” He started, uncertainly. “I realized I didn’t say goodnight.”  
Emma was taken aback. She hadn’t expected that reply. She thought he would’ve given another innuendo about coming to her in her bed chamber, but he had surprised her with his response.  
“Don’t start being a gentleman on my account.”  
“I’m always a gentleman,” he volleyed back, the corners of his mouth slowly creeping upward. “Anyway, goodnight.”  
He turned and started to dissolve into the darkness. “Wait!” Where did that come from? “Stay right there.”  
With that, she disappeared back into her room, reappearing minutes later walking toward him, barefoot on the dew soaked grass. She shivered at the chilly air.  
“Here,” he said, removing the jacket of his uniform and placing it gingerly around her shoulders. “Can’t have you catching a cold before your parents’ big celebration, now can we?” He spoke softly, almost a whisper. His hands lingered at the lapels after the jacket was wrapped around her.  
“Thank you,” she murmured back, aware of his intense gaze and gentle touch.  
“Like I said, I’m always a gentleman. But if you really want to thank me...” His words were mixed with both humor and sincerity.  
“Killian, I... I came out here to tell you...” Why couldn’t she speak intelligently when he gazed at her with his jeweled eyes?  
“Yes...” he prompted, taking a half step closer.  
She stopped, not sure anymore why she came out. Surely, her parents would not be pleased she was out here, half dressed with a sailor.  
Regina’s words came back to her. The only happiness that mattered was hers. Suddenly, not caring if her parents were standing right behind her, she reached her hand to his cheek. He slid his hand around her waist pulling her to him. Slowly, waiting for her to protest, he bagan lowering his head to hers. He searched her eyes for and, not finding opposition, enveloped her mouth with his.  
They passionately kissed, forgetting the outside world, as if they were long lost lovers, not new acquaintances. She moved her hands through his hair, greedily holding his mouth to hers. His hands expertly pressed her body to his, molding it so so air existed between them.  
Slowly, reluctantly, he broke from her mouth, panting, his eyes never leaving hers. “That was...”  
“Goodnight.” Her response wasn’t severe, but effective.  
He slowly lowered his hands to his side, though hers lingered on his cheek. He kissed her palm and said, “Til tomorrow, love.” He turned and faded into the night.  
Though his coat was still around her, she shivered again, this time, not from the night air.  
Her fingers brushed her lips and she moved to go back inside. With a smile, she thought she enjoyed the new nickname better than the first.  
\----  
Baelfire watched Emma’s retreating form until she disappered into the palace. He had never considered himself a violent man, but it took every ounce of strength to not rip them apart and beat the sailor with his bare hands.  
Instead, he stood frozen, his patrol of the grounds forgotten.  
After the initial anger, hurt and betrayal sank in. Only hours before, he had been the one holding Emma, loving her as only he could. He thought those feelings were reciprocated, but now...  
He shook himself out of his thoughts and resumed his watch. Emma was worth fighting for. So if that scoundrel wanted a fight, he’d get one.  
\-------


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but there's some angst ahead...

The next day, the palace had never been busier. Deliveries flooded the kitchen and great hall. Footmen bustled about, making sure candles filled the room and the chandelier sparkled. Tomorrow, the preparations would take on a furious frenzy, but Emma thought they had already reached their pinnacle.  
Unfortunately, she had her own torture to contend with. Madame Forsythe returned to do a final fitting of her ballgown and Emma had dreaded it all morning.  
Amazingly, Emma had been able to hold herself relatively still, earning the closest thing to a smile she had ever received from the seamstress.  
Finally, satisfied with her work, Madame stepped back to admire the dress.  
“Princess, no one will be dressed as fine as you tomorrow night.” Emma noted the woman did not compliment her directly, only the dress she wore.  
“Well, no one else had you to dress them,” Emma replied, surprising Madame Forsythe with a rare compliment from the princess.  
The moment was abruptly broken, however, when the seamstress said, “Now let’s take it off. I don’t want you ruining it before the ball.”  
Emma sighed, stepped down from the pedestal, and allowed her maids to gingerly lift the gown off her. She didn’t comment that it would be hard for her to ruin the dress standing like a statue in her room.  
“Oh, I wanted to see you in it before tomorrow!” Snow entered the room just as Emma finished pulling on her riding boots.  
“You’ll just have to be surprised,” Emma teased, giving her mother a peck on the cheek. “I mean, it’s not like you designed it or anything.” She started to make her way toward the door.  
“Are you going out?”  
“I promised Roland a ride,” Emma offered. Snow knew her daughter never broke her promises to the boy.  
“I had hoped we could talk, but it can wait,” Snow said with a shake of her head and a smile. “Enjoy your ride. Just be careful. I don’t want you falling off your horse and getting hurt before the ball!”  
Emma smiled and waved at her mother, leaving her alone in the room. Snow sighed and watched her go, knowing her daughter would not enjoy the conversation, but that it needed to be said.  
It could wait, Snow thought, but not for much longer.  
\---  
When Emma reached the stable, she found Arrow saddled and Roland squirming impatiently in Robin’s arms.  
“Who’s ready for a ride?” She chuckled as Roland shouted, “Me! Me! Me!”  
She climbed up on Arrow’s back and reached down as Robin helped settle Roland in front of her. “Wish I could stay and watch, but your father wanted to talk,” Robin said apologetically. To Roland, he said, “You be good for Aunt Emma and mind.” He glanced pointedly at Emma, knowing her penchant for giving in to the boy’s whims.  
Emma grinned back. “We’ll be fine, won’t we, Roly-Poly?”  
“Ride!” Was Roland’s response. Both Emma and Robin chuckled as she obliged. Robin made his way back to the palace, his shoulders still shaking with laughter.  
For several minutes, Emma had Roland delighted by showing off Arrow’s trots and canters. The boy loved bouncing in the saddle and the horse did not disappoint.  
The spell was broken, however, when she heard shouts. On the other side of the fence, about a hundred yards away, Bae and Killian were arguing heatedly.  
“Hey!” She shouted, but she doubted they heard her over their own voices. Doubt changed to certainty when Baelfire’s fist connected with Killian’s jaw.  
“No!” Emma raced into action. She rode the horse as quickly as was safe with Roland to the fence separating her from the brawl. She dismounted and grabbed Roland in one movement. Moving between the rails of the fence, she hurried as fast as she could with the boy in her arms.  
When they approached the skirmish, she placed Roland on the ground, kneeling and telling him, “Stay here!” She sprinted the last few yards to where Killian was on top of Bae, his hands around his throat.  
“Stop!” Emma grabbed Killian’s shoulders to try to pry him off Bae, but the sailor was stronger than she was. She started swinging her own fists at his back, pounding with all her might.  
Emma was sure Bae would pass out from lack of air, when Killian finally released his grip. He straighted up, panting, finalling seeing Emma’s wild eyes.  
“What do you think you’re doing?” Emma demanded.  
“Sorry, love. He came up yelling at me, and then sucker punched me.”  
“Emma,” Baelfire croacked, rubbing his neck. “I saw you two last night.”  
Emma was taken aback. “But, how... I mean, we were... And you... that doesn’t mean you fight!” She let her indignation take over again.  
“Doesn’t it?” Baelfire asked, anger creeping into his own voice. “I love you, Emma. I’m going to fight for you.” He rose to his feet as he said this.  
His words left her speechless. She opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, an earsplitting whinny came from the paddock.  
Emma turned to where she left Roland and found the grass empty. Her heart dropped from her chest as she looked to see the boy climbing the paddock fence, Arrow’s reins in his small hand.  
Emma launched into action, the two men left behind her and forgotten. She was only a few strides away when Roland spotted her. “Annemma! Ride!” He grinned and waved at her. As he did, he lost his footing and Emma’s world stopped. Roland fell on the hard dirt with a sickening crack.  
Emma let out an anguished sob as she reached him. His arm was bent at an impossible angle and he was howling in pain.   
Arrow, luckily, knew to stay still as Emma knelt next to the boy at the horse’s feet. Gingerly, she picked up his arm, sending new howls into the air.  
Bae and Kilian arrived a moment later. “I’ll get the doctor,” Killian said, turning to go.  
Bae grabbed his arm. “No, I’ll go.” A shoving match ensued before Emma bellowed, “ENOUGH!” Her eyes were wild and furious. “Killian, get the doctor. Bae, put Arrow away. Then, both of you, stay away from me!”  
Emma turned back to Roland, who was softly whimpering while she stroked his hair. The men silently left to complete their tasks, each casting furtive glances at the boy in the princess’s arms.  
\----


	9. Chapter 9

“He’s fine, Emma,” Regina assured her, the doctor having left after splinting Roland’s broken arm. “The doctor said it was a clean break and he’ll heal in a few weeks.”  
The comforting words did little to lift Emma’s guilt. She continued to pace, gnawing at her fingernails. “I should’ve just let them kill each other,” Emma exploded furiously.  
“We can’t change the past,” Regina soothed, stopping Emma’s frantic movements by placing her hands on her shoulders. She peered into Emma’s eyes to drive her point home. “Roland will be fine. That’s all that matters.”  
Emma’s rage faded as quickly as it came, Regina’s words sinking in. Roland. He’s all that matters, Emma thought. And the only guy I need in my life. She nodded resolutely. “You’re right. He’s all that will ever matter.”  
Regina caught Emma’s double meaning, but didn’t say anything more. Her goddaughter did not need to get worked up again.   
Regina and Robin were both understanding of the accident, knowing Emma would rather die than let anything happen to their son. Regina just wished Emma could forgive herself as easily.  
\----  
That night, Emma tossed and turned in her bed. How could she have been so careless?  
And those two! She fumed into her pillow. Right now, she felt as if she could go a few rounds with both of them.   
Her mind betrayed her when Killian’s voice filtered in with a double entendre of what she had just thought.  
She groaned and flopped over again, sleep eluding her.  
After racing off to get the doctor and take care of the horse, the two had stayed silently watching from opposite sides and the boy had been tended to. Both had seemed appropriately repentant for what had happened, though neither risked Emma’s wrath by saying it aloud.  
They had helped the doctor carefully lift and carry the boy to bed. Once his well-being was confirmed, they made hasty exits.  
Robin and Regina listened to Emma’s retelling of her own personal shock and horror at what happened before patting her arm and stroking her hair, respectively. Both knew it was a matter of time before Roland’s precociousness got him into trouble. They were just sorry Emma had to be the one to witness it.  
Emma hadn’t left Roland’s bedside, except to fetch him toys and treats when asked. Knowing he could, he asked often until Regina put a stop to it by ordering both to sleep.  
Emma had reluctantly risen, brushed his hair aside, kissed his head, and left him to rest.  
Now, she just wanted to watch over him. She pondered sneaking into his room, but knew Regina was lying the bed next to him.   
She settled for throwing on her dressing gown and padding down to the kitchens for a drink. As she got closer, she saw a light coming from the cracks in the old wooden door. When she pushed it open, she was surprised to see her mother sitting at the table shelling peas.  
“Mom? What are you doing?”  
“Just getting a head start for cook tomorrow.” Tomorrow. The ball. With all the drama with Roland, Emma had completely forgotten.  
“Let me help.” Emma pulled up a stool next to her mother. For several minutes, both were quiet as their nimble fingers worked apart the pods, releasing the small green beads into a bowl.  
“You know, there was something I wanted to talk to you about,” Snow began, breaking the silence. Emma glanced at her but didn’t speak. “I’ve been watching a change come over you the last few days. It made me hopeful. That finally, perhaps you had found what your father and I have. True love.” She said it wistfully, hoping her daughter didn’t take her words as offensive.  
Emma shook her head. “Mom, I...”  
“No. I need to finish,” the queen interrupted. “Please.” Emma closed her mouth and nodded for her mother to continue. “You’ve been happy, that is, until today.”  
“Roland was...”  
“I’m not talking about Roland. Before the accident, after your fitting, you seemed...” she searched for the right word. “Split. Like you didn’t know your own heart. After the accident that was replaced with resolve. Your walls went back up.” Snow stopped with the peas and searched her daughter’s eyes. “Emma, please don’t give up on your happiness because of one accident, or... one mistake.”  
Emma had the feeling that her mother was referring to two separate events. She held her mother’s gaze. “My head knows you’re right, but my heart...” Emma shook her head.  
“Your heart will figure it out. I just hope your head has the good sense to listen when it does.” Snow brushed a strand of hair off her daughter’s forehead and went back to the peas.  
Emma followed suit, getting lost in her thoughts. What if her heart did already know? What if it was her head getting in the way?  
\---


End file.
